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Anatomy | Family Hypothetical Sevenus
Characteristics
| Planting/Care
| History
| FAQ
| AFG
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Anatomy | Family Hypothetical Sevenus
Characteristics
| Planting/Care
| History
| FAQ
| AFG
|
|
Characteristics 
Plant Care No need to dig a hole for Eric, he'll dig his own holes. Don't worry about planting Eric in unfertile soil (i.e. you accidentally drop him in the middle of the ocean or allow him to get swallowed by a bored tuna). Nothing is unfertile to Eric. Eric loves to skip and prance and spin so make sure you give Eric plenty of room to grow wherever you put him. Eric is not an aggressive flower and you'll quickly notice that Eric plays well with others. After a week of Eric in your garden expect to be awoken each morning by the mellifluous sound of your flowerbeds bursting into laughter. Eric will have all the varieties in stiches [Note: Geraniums tend to laugh TOO HARD at Eric's humor. You may want to keep these two apart.] Eric isn't all laughs, though. He has been known to share nutrients, photosynthesize for the less fortunate, and allow others to use his root system without asking. If the flowers are Eric's audience, the vegetables surely are Eric's teachers. Don't be surprised if you plant Eric with the lesser daisies, only to find that he's managed to re-root himself near the tomatoes or the lettuce heads. You'll find that Eric can survive on almost nothing (read: can live on an unemployed priest's salary - there, that helps doesn't it) but you'll not want to neglect this flowery clown. Plenty of water and sunlight and if you can afford it, a rent controlled apartment in NYC best suits Eric. Once, while preparing information for the back of Eric's seed packet, we left him alone for an afternoon in his own apartment along with a pair of scissors, 10 paper clips, 1 package of multi-colored construction paper, plaster of paris, and jars of red, yellow, and blue paint. When we came back our flower, Eric, had built all the sets for a nearby off broadway play. History Eric Davis was raised by two honest and hardworking reindeer. His parents being reindeer weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. They saw Eric growing in the cave, thought it was their child, and so they attempted to raise Eric as a reindeer. (Latter is was determined that Eric came to his parents when, as a seed, he'd been eaten by his father and subsequently "Deposited" back at the cave.) As a youngster, Eric wasn't allowed to play in any reindeer games. No, Eric Davis did not have a bright red nose. (As an aside, it should be noted that the racist impressions left by holidy claymations are quite unfounded. Reindeer children run their games on a strict merit system. You perform, you play. You stink, you ride the bench. It doesn't matter if your daddy is Mayor Reindeer or Coach Reindeer; there is no special treatment. If you have blue fur, live in a small cave, and are missing a hoof but can jump really high then you are respected amongst your reindeer peers.) Eric Davis, quite frankly, sucked at reindeer games. Eric had only a one millimeter vertical jump and failed misserably at head butting. Eric, though, rather than wallow in shame as decent game-failing reindeers were expected to do, would make jokes and kid around at his inability. A very UN-reindeer like behavior and the first sign that Eric Davis was not a reindeer at all. Eric Davis was, in fact, a flower! A Giant Clown Daisy to be exact. In the locker room after gym class everyone began to notice the differences. While the others began to sprout antlers, Eric began growing pistils and stamens. Everyone else hated to take showers but Eric loved the water. He would stay in the showers until he was forcably repotted and carried to his next class ("What an oddly immobile reindeer this one is," noted many of the others.) It took a near death experience for Eric to figure out his flower-ness. Suprisingly, Eric drove the does crazy. He figured this attraction was due to his indefatigable sunny outlook. In actuallity it was caused by the fact that reindeer like to eat flowers. Eric had been running with this wild doe, Maude The Soiled. Maude and Eric were having a heavy make-out session behind a hay pile on the outskirts of town when Maude got so carried away she ate the sepals right off Eric! Eric recognized the glazed look in Maude's eyes for what it was: "Flower Muncher Face". (It is also the look reindeer get when eating chicken pot pies.) In that moment the truth was radiantly clear: "I'm not a reindeer at all! I'm a Giant Cown Daisy... or a chicken pot pie." Lucky for Eric his sepals contained mild irritants that upset Maude's stomach. Maude spread the word that Eric was a lousy date, giving Eric plenty of free time to develop his clown. The rest of Eric's story is the stuff of legend and needs not be repeated. Frequently Asked Questions Most frequently asked question about Eric Davis: "Why does Eric get all the flower and reindeer parts in your sketches.? Come to think of it, why does the Hype7 ONLY do sketches about the interactions between flowers and reindeer?"  2nd most frequently asked question about Eric Davis: "Is it really true that that kid in Pittsburgh died just by looking at you?" 3rd most frequently asked question about Eric Davis: "What for?" Answers Frequently Given Answer most frequently given by Eric Davis: "4." 2nd answer most frequently given by Eric Davis: "You've got to THINK like the owl. Watch me. Whooooooooooooooo. Whoooooooooooo." 3rd answer most frequently given by Eric Davis: "5? 5." |