Blame History Tracking Technology Introduced
02.06.03 <LAWRENCE, KANSAS> -- Repeat blame. Its a growning problem amongst hype7 citizens according to an unreliable source who asked not to be named.

"It seems what's happening is people are getting blamed for the day, and sure, for that day they feel real lousy, but the next day many of these blamees start right back up with the same blame deserving behaviors. It became obvious that we needed to escalate our blaming campaign."

Blame History Tracking Technology (BHTT)*
Hype7 proudly announces that it's now more invasive than ever before. Not only are we doing the same great job of detecting blame, but now we are able to remember these blames so as to identify blame trends. Early analysis indicates that all of you get blamed lots. We knew it! This justifies our having this blaming technology in the first place.

* From www.hype7.com

"It's weird. I'm not sure why it happens but as soon as these people create profiles at hype7.com, they start doing all these bad things that get them blamed. Thank God we put our blame sensors in place as early as we did, otherwise lots of this blame would have gone unblamed. We would have been to blame if that had happened."

"Would I like just ONE day where nobody got blamed? That's like asking me if I like spaghetti. Sure I would. That's my utopia: to open the blame page one day and see it empty... no blame. "

"But the realist in me knows that there is always someone who deserves blame for something. You waste too much time trying to itemize what that blame is for and you fail to blame anyone... you can get lost in pickayune details like that. "

"If people are blame worthy then they're going to get blamed. The problem is NOT our blaming technology... its people themselves. They are dirty, filthy little creatures... evil peoples-is... "

{Editors Note: At this point our subject dove into the murky wading pool at the foot of the mountain where we were holding our interview. We waited 93 minutes but our subject never returned to the surface.}


back    top