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  08.14.00 <NEEDHAM, MASSACHUSETTS> -- While love may be eternal, the dressings and accoutrements of love continually change. Instead of singing "Buffalo Girl Won't You Come Out Tonight" to your girl while she hides naked behind a bush, these days you e-mail the lyrics, attach the mp3 file, and watch your lover swoon over web cam. We thought we'd try to capture a sample of love's blossom in the new century. After tapping into the Internet and intercepting non-encrypted e-mails, we happily discovered our e-couple below. Annie and Ted are obviously in love, and their courtship has a distinctively Y2K flavor. Dim the lights, put on some romantic mp3 tracks, and enjoy.
God Ted, you're gonna hate me. I FINALLY saw the light... it was that last email you sent. Oh God I hate to have to say this to you. You're going to be wicked mad at me. You recall emailing me about 4 years ago telling me that everyone would soon be doing EVERYTHING on the web and how we'd better buy our first and last names in the form of a web address before someone else with our names got them first? Remember? Remember how you've mentioned this to me in just about every email since? Oh God... Well, it looks like you were right. Someone else DID already register our names. OH GOD TED, DON'T HATE ME!!! I finally checked with a domain name supplier (like you've been begging me to do these last 4 years) and it seems every domain name even remotely resembling our names has been taken. I tried: www.anniebrown.com www.annie_brown.com www.ann_brown.com www.anne_brown.com www.anniebrown2.com www.anniebrown381.com etc... All taken. I tried all these variations with your name too Ted. I guess I didn't realize how many Ted Smith's there were (my bad). I feel AWFUL, Ted. This is all my fault. Yes, you told me that I HAD to do this because you've been stuck over there so long in Qatar without a credit card and once again, in my typical unreliable way, I've flubbed this up. But maybe there is a silver lining here. Why don't we get a "Couple" name -- one name for the both of us? Wouldn't that be nice Ted? What do you think? Let's start brainstorming some names. Okay? I really am sorry. Will you forgive me?
Damn! Damn! Damn! Okay. I'm finished. I'm done being furious. Just needed to let off a little steam. I was REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hoping to own www.ted_jones.com but now I guess just have to accept that I've been screwed out of it. I'm okay now, really. A "Couple" name IS a good alternative, Annie. You're right, maybe we can find a silver lining in this whole fiasco. A domain name idea off the top of my head: "www.weshouldbreakup.com" Maybe a little long but I like how it sounds... really rolls off the tongue. What do you think? Your Pal, Ted.
When I first read the idea in your last email, I thought, "No, That is just 'Ole-Stupid-Ted coming up with one of his infamous 'Stupid Ted Ideas'". (Hey... who's idea was it to go to Qatar as an indentured servant? Remember that one, Ted? "I'll only be there a few weeks", you said. Ha ha ha!). But as I read it again its growing on me. I could get wicked psyched about that one, maybe. Not too bad. How about... "www.gotakeaflyingleapoffacliffyoujerk.com" I like this one because it's got a couple of Y's and Y's really seem to stick out in people's minds. They help you remember the name. I mean, doesn't this seem like an easy one to remember, Ted?
www.iwillneverforget_thatsforsure.com
Hey, I think I missed your last email... I just got what looks like a header but there was no body on that last message?
Oops, I think I accidentally hit send. Sorry. Regarding your last suggestion, yeah, its pretty memorable, but it also seems a bit... brash. I guess we'll have to weigh the cost of something being easy to remember vs. how brash or weird it is. I'm not saying I don't like your last idea, though. I don't really like your last idea, maybe. I've actually been thinking of some "Couple" domains names for a few months -- I was going to surprise you. So I guess I had this idea before you ever did! Neat! Isn't that cool? Anyway, figured it would be easiest to just email this list to see if anything strikes your fancy. Let me know: www.iwasjustsayingthat_WE_ dontseemtobeworking.com www.yourverbalexplosionearlierisexactlywhyithinkweshouldendit.com www.besidesyouhaveanuglymoleonyournose.com here are some others: www.witchlookalike.com www.broomsriddenhere.com www.witchontheinside_witchontheoutside.com www.witch.org www.cantstopstaringatyourmole.com and a few more: www.stoppickingatyourmole.com www.ohgoditsbleeding.com www.longpause.com www.hmmm_thatssortofsexy.com www.willyouforgiveme.com www.justforgetimentionedbreakingup.com www.ok.com
Teddie, you make me feel so stupid some times. (That's why you are so special to me.) You know how I have that problem reading words that are strung together without spacing. I know everyone else is ok with this but somehow I do feel like our choice should respect this disease of mine. Some of the last ones were a little better for me. Hey, you know what? I REALLY like the "www.ok.com" idea. One sec, let me get on the web and check to see if that one's still around.... Hey, www.ok.com is available! Can you believe it? Theodore darling, should we get go for it?
Yes! ORDER IT! ORDER IT! My idea is PERFECT! Anyway... I miss you SOOOOO badly, Annie-pooh. Its so tough not getting to be with you in person. Let's just be thankful that I have email and web access out here. Oh, that reminds me, when you go into work at the video store tonight could you point the web camera towards the Horror Section? Someone has it pointing at the Classic Westerns Section and you never seem to be over there. You always seem to be hanging out in the Horror section (think that means you're a witch? ha ha ha - just kidding!) Oh, yeah. One other thing. Could you get a piece of loose-leaf and a fat black marker and write "TED REIGNS" on it and then show it to the web cam? I make all my buddies here watch you a wicked pissah lot and lately they've been saying that I don't really know anyone at your work. They think I am some internet freak who gets off by watching American video store employees. If you show the sign THEN they'll believe me. I know I've asked you to do things like this before, and you've kind of... well...not held up your end of the bargain (unreliable Annie, eh? Ha ha ha!) Lets say 8 PM your time. What's that my time? 3am? Yeah, 3am. Fine. I'll force my Qatari buds stay up. They'll be angry that this will make them sluggish out in the fields but it will be worth it. Don't forget.. okay? Anyway, I can't wait to see you in person - to get a chance to REALLY talk to you. Who nose how long they're going to keep me over here. I'll email soon. You do the same. Love Teddie-weddie. back  top |