(1)Arizona vs (16)Box Of Rocks"Underestimate Box Of Rocks University." That's what Arizona's coach, Lute Olsen, is telling his Wildcats as they gear up for their second meeting of the season with Box Of Rocks. In the first meeting between the two schools, a close 8-0 win by Arizon, Olsen had warned his players not to take that game lightly, noting that Box Of Rocks had a couple of rocks who could take a game over. That approach so psyched out the Wildcat players, they almost lost the game. "Yeah, I think we were a little shaken by their zone, the way they were so disciplined, never moving, never leaving their box. I think we only got off 4 shots the entire game. Thank goodness we shot 100%. We just kept thinking, 'What's the catch... what are they going to pull out of their hat... why is this crowd being so still?'"
(8)UNLV vs (9)Fresno St.Tark faces his old team for the first time since leaving UNLV and joining Fresno St. back 1921. Tark's infamous run-ins with the NCAA seem to be a thing of the past. Initially seeded as a #10 the South, Tark put a call to the NCAA and said, "I'd really like a higher seed and be closer to home the West Region." Permission granted. Wisconsin was thrown out of the tournament all together to accommodate Tarkanian. If Tarks likeness, Teli Savalis, were still alive he might ask Tark, "Who loves ya baby?" Looks like the NCAA does.
(5)SNWE Missouri St vs (12)SNWE MissouriThere are alot of similarities between these two teams. They play identical styles with nearly identical players. Wednesday's early practice even lead to an accidental switch-a-roo that went unnoticed by the SNWE coaching staff for nearly twenty minutes. Kelyn Block of SNWE Missouri confused practice time and showed up at SNWE Missouri St's practice. State's Kelly Black was out with the flu and so coaches mistook Block for Black. The switch was figured out when Block failed to appropriatly respond to a team shiboleth. Nate Brown detected the opposition player. "Yeah, I asked this guy who I thought was Kelly, 'How does a chicken cross a busy road?' This dude answers 'Train' when everyone knows Kelly would have answered 'Plane'. It was really spooky for about thirteen minutes, but now we're loose and ready to play."
Predicted Game Result | Actual Game Result
(4)SW Missouri St vs (13)SE Missouri St
(6)Purdue vs (11)Ball St.
(3)Oklahoma vs (14)WinthropWinthrop guard, Matt Fritz, thinks he can predict the future. "Yeah, I'm glad you could all attend this press conference. I wouldn't have called it if this wasn't important. I'be been doing alot of thinking lately. And I got to thinking about our school name. And I just sat there thinking... "WINTHROP.... WINTHROP" and it hit me that this name is a historical aberation of its true context. Looking in the Winthrop anals I discovered that in the initial charter our school was called, "WIN, THROW PEAS". [Fritz dramatically puts can of peas on table]. So tonight I am officially announcing that we will win by throwing peas. Ohhh no, I can't spill the beans and tell you where or how... but mark my words.. peas will be thrown. I REPEAT. PEAS WILL BE THROWN. WIN, THROW PEAS WILL WIN!. Thank-you. That is all."
(7)Louisville vs (10)Gonzaga
(2)Hypothetical Seven vs (15)Northern ArizonaThis game should be the closest of the 2-15 matches. The Hype7 basketball program went flat at the end of the season and Northern Arizon is riding high having won 1 of their last 1 games. Matt Chapman, starting guard was quoted as asking center-man Dan Spurgin, "Do... we even play basketball?". If you're looking for an upset in your pool, this could be the game.
(1)Michigan St. vs (16)Innocent Babies St.No line on this game. Pick'em.
(8)St Louis Univ. HS vs (9)St Louis Univ.Though this is the first ever meeting between the Billikens and the Junior Billikens, the history of these two schools is rich and deep. St Louis Univ. HS (SLUH) was founded as St Louis Academy by Rev. Dubourg in 1818. St Louis University (SLU) was spawned from SLUH a few years later and in 1832 was granted a charter as a university. This game is a classic conflict between parent and child. The parent, SLUH, seeks to reassert its dominance and reestablish the submissioin of SLU. SLU, on the other hand, plans to have a break out and break away game, sloughing off the yoke of SLUH's oppression. FACT: Cat Steven's song, Father And Son, was written about the relationship between these two institutions.
(5)TBA vs (12)St. BonaventureYou can't beat what you can't see. That's TBA's game plan, to move so fast as to avoid detection by the human eye. TBA does have great team speed and they just might be able to pull this off. In what was seen intially as a scheduling mixup, now seems to be a harbinger of change that will fundamentally alter the game of basketball. TBA had seemingly failed to show up for the first of their two Wednesday practice sessions. It is now believed that TBA was there but moving so fast that they could not be seen. This report is backed up by evidence that in the afternoon practice session team TBA seemed EXTRSORDINARILY tired. During the late session three players were reportedly treated for minor heart attacks but TBA team officials insist all will be ready to go by game time.
(4)Sanford Brown Business College vs (13)Samford
(6)God vs (11)Ball St.Let's face facts: God's been coasting. After a challenging November/December God proceeded to sleep walk through its/his/her/their Missouri Valley conference schedule. Instead of striking fear into the hearts of opponents, it almost seemed at times as if God wasn't even on the court. Sometimes this was quite literally the case as starters often failed to materialize for games. Lacking depth, God must see to it that everyone shows up and shows up ready to play. If God doesn't find its early season dirty-shove-it-down-your-throat-against-your-will early season form, it could be early-exit-city. Having said this, God always seems to find a way to stick around the big dance. God has had gotten more than its fair share of miracle wins in this tourney, and with a fanatical group of fans that can nearly will the outcome of game, God may just be there when Final Four times rolls around. Besides, Ball St. sucks.
(3)Neutrons vs (14)ElectronsBill Neutrino has single handedly willed Neutrons to their school history best 5-0 season record. Electrons has no such central player and relies on a swarming team mentality that has earned them win against teams that ressemble Neutrons (Atom St., Volt, Positron University, Proton, and Quark St.). The difference may be the 1078 subs on the Neutrons bench.
(7)Teachers On Donkeys St. vs (10)Donkeys Univ.
The DAC (Donkey Athletic Conference) is still braying in anger about this matchup. A first round meeting between the only two DAC representatives in this years tourney guarantees that a DAC team will exit after the first round. "Being in the same region is bad enough, but the same first round GAME! They might as well have asked us to walk down into the Grand Canyon!"
(2)Iowa St. vs (15)CornThough a #2 seed, Iowa St. will have their hands full against Corn. Much like the systematic Princeton offenses of the 1990's, Corn won't beat you with individuals - they play team ball all the way. Perhaps the biggest part of Corn's game is uncertainty. Planning is always difficult because Corn can come out one night as a bowl of nibblets and the next night they are back on the cob. Iowa St. will have to prepare for a bunch of different looks from a refined Corn team(popcorn, fritos, etc.), and pray they've covered all the bases.
(1)Ball St. vs (16)Lamar
(8)Kansas vs (9)Johnson County Community College
(5)Walgreens vs (12)SkaggsBoth teams take a 7 days a week, 24 hours a day approach to the game which probably means that this game will be ugly and long. Not only do these teams lack superstars, they're proud of the fact. Expect this to be a long drawn out deffensive affair with both teams trying to nickle and dime each other to death. Keep and eye on Walgreen's Tide and Skaggs less popular but nicer smelling Fab. The winner of this individual matchup could just steal the game.
(4)Illinois vs (13)Ursaline Girl's Academy
(6)Visitation Girl's Academy vs (11)Vianney HS
(3)Webster Groves HS vs (14)Annunciation Grade School
(7)Oregon vs (10)Haskell Indian Nations Univ.
(2)Colby vs (15)Lafayette
(1)Stanford vs (16)ARMY (Salvation)
(8)North Carolina vs (23)Missouri
(5)Connecticut vs (12)Utah St.
(4)Tennessee vs (13)La.-Lafayette
(6)Rams vs (11)TitansStarters Kurt Warner (no relation to the St Louis Rams Kurt Warner), Issac Bruce (not related), and Marshal Flock have lead the Rams out of obscurity and into the big show. Critics say a subpar strength of schedule leaves them untested and seeded too high, but these Rams seem to be for real. Steve McNair(not related to the Titan's Steve McNair) was quoted as saying, "There is NO WAY we can loose this one babyeee!"
(3)Ohio St. vs (14)Appalachian St.
(7)Tulsa vs (10)Chicken Farmers
(2)Cinderfella St. vs (15)UNC Wilmington
Cinderfella St. Prepares For TourneyUNC Wilmington senior starters Judith "Wicked Stepmom" Anderson, and twin step-brothers Henry Silva and Robert Hutton look as if they are destined to win this one. Cinderfella St of Bellaire, CA could use a ferry godfella for this matchup. Weak forward, Jerry Lewis of Cinderfella St. says this about the matchup, "Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaahaaaaa". Unless Ed Win shows up for Cinderfella St. on the perimeter, the clock could strike all too soon on Cinderfella's season.
