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AUDITIONS!   audio icon[mp3]
Wednesday
Nov 2nd
8:00 pm
Lawrence, KS

Kansas University
Murphy Hall
Room 235
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Thursday
Nov 3rd
8:00 pm

Kansas City


Westport Cofffeehouse
4010 Pennsylvania
(in Westport)


    11.05.2005 <LAWRENCE & KANSAS CITY> -- 

Welcome New Hype7 Members!!!
Sasha Abu-Ali

Alan Bush

Kristin Moody
Bryan Reynolds
Rob Smith
Tommy Todd

Thank-you to all who came out and gave The Hypothetical Seven a look-see. We didn't expect to have so many quality auditioners come out. We can say without hesitation that there were more than 6 of you who we felt would make excellent troupe members. In the end, we picked only 6 to make sure our group stayed a size (12 members) where everyone would still be able to get enough playing time on stage. If you have any questions about audition results or The Hypothetical Seven, please email us as email@hype7.com. Thank-you again!




Blame History Tracking Technology Introduced
02.06.03 <LAWRENCE, KANSAS> -- "It seems what's happening is people are getting blamed for the day, and sure, for that day they feel real lousy, but the next day many of these blamees start right back up with the same blame deserving behaviors. It became obvious that we needed to escalate our blaming campaign..."
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button link to blame pageTodays' Blame



Interview with Corny The Candy Corn
10.31.02 <TOMBSTONE, ARIZONA> -- Recently The Hypothetical Seven caught up with Corny The Candy Corn at his secluded ranch home. Corny is recently transplated New Yorker who has relocated to the small town of Tombstone, Arizona, roughly 70 miles Southeast of Tuscon. We caught up with Corny a few weeks before Holloween, where he was literally sequestering himself...
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NRA's agreement to 200% increase in cost of bullets backfires
10.10.02 <WASHINGTON DC> -- As bullet prices continue to soar, the first reports out of Washington show that last months Democratic initiative to sacrifice gun control for bullet control seems to be working, much to the chagrin of Republicans and their NRA bedfellows. Violent gun related crimes in communities around America are down by nearly 25%-1 -2.
      One gunman requesting that his name be kept anonymous said, "It's getting ridiculous. If I want to knock off a convenience store and feel confident about it I need 6 bullets. At today's inflated prices, I can't AFFORD 6 bullets. Now I'm going in with 3.. MAYBE 4 if I'm lucky. .. Now, if things go... awry... I'm not sure if I'll have enough ammo to cover all my bases. So I'm going in edgy and THAT'S how mistakes get made. You want safer crime, then address the collusion going on amongst bullet distributors. It's all trickle down. THEY are the ones killing people... not me.. well figuratively speaking. Unless I was a bullet distributer... which... HA HA HA.. I guess I am. Hey that's pretty cool... I think I've just come up with a new nickname for myself: Hank, 'The Bullet Distributor' Tuttle."

-1 Based on gun crimes in Chanute, KS:
2001 (4 gun related crimes)
2002 (3 gun related crimes)

-2 Statistics do not include gun related crimes at stores that sell bullets where the primary criminal intent was bullet theft.
   2002(15 such robberies of bullet stores)

M.O.R.E


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09.23.02 <CYBERSPACE> -- Enter the amount of money you want to pay in the box above. Then click "Pay now!" and your money will be securely transferred.
Note: Visitors have been complaining that they don't know what they are paying for. Payments, OBVIOUSLY, are going the www.hype7.com WPR (Welath Redistribution Project). Some have insinuated that this is all a fancy ploy to tip the creators of www.hype7.com. In response we say, "Absurd! Pickle! Monkey!".





The Living Glossary
07.31.00 <BUFFALO, NEW YORK> -- Let's face it, the glossary is a second class citizen, the unwanted stepchild of the 'index'. Hype7 is doing its part to restore the gleam* and glimmer* of the glossary (*both words NOT in our glossary). So what's in our glossary? You decide. Add a term and we'll come by and fill out the definition for you! Or, if you're up for the challenge... define it for us.
Create your own glossary terms





Ratings Revamped Again: PIG
01.01.02 <BURBANK, CALIFORNIA> -- The Movie Snob has improved his movie rating system again with his latest movie review of The Score (a.k.a The Dark Crystal 2). The previous system had WEIRD abberations according to users.
     Movie Review:
     The Score (Dark Crystal 2)





New Movie Rating System: DIE
03.04.01 <BURBANK, CALIFORNIA> -- The Movie Snob has entirely revampped his movie rating system. Read in depth reviews by Movie Snob and Safety Jeff, or simply use these better than ever rating system graphics to quickly find out which films are must-sees and which are stinky stinkers.

     Movie Review:
     Dungeons & Dragons, The Movie





Memorable Webcam Captures

11.19.00 <FLORA, ILLINOIS> -- Theodore, the high school student we've hired to run a webcam (t@bleCam), announces the creation of an online archive to hold some of the most dramatic images serendipitously caputred on t@ableCam.



Squirrel Legs Too Powerful?
10.30.00 <ROANOKE, VIRGINIA> -- Next time you drive your car down a residential street, notice how many squirrels scamper away and jump into nearby trees. Multiply this squirrel encounter by 20 million drivers, 80 million squirrel escapes, 24 hours, and a terrifying pictures comes into focus: squirrel legs that are becoming dangerously powerful.....
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FEATURES: Movie Reviews & Webcams
07.13.00 <LAWRENCE, KANSAS> -- Beyond timely news articles, hype7.com also offers regular features that have been especially designed to improve your life.
  Since Gene Siskell passed away you've been looking for a reliable team of movie reviewers who seem to see the world of movies with your eyes. Look no further. The dynamic duo of movie assessment, Movie Snob and Safety Jeff, have brought talents exclusively to hype7.com. With insightful comments and easy to follow rating systems, its once again safe to let somebody else decide what movies you'll watch.
  Tired of the same old familiar surroundings? Tired of staring at your kitchen table? Well, even if you aren't, why not get tired of watching somebody else's kitchen table? hype7.com enters into its first major contractual relationship by agreeing to outsource all of its webcam needs to a high school student Flora, Illinois. We had fully intended to purchase our own webcam when we received Theordore's timely and fateful e-mail urging us not to fuel the "Webcam Overpopulation Epidemic", and instead celebrate a webcam already out doing good, namely his own webcam. Well, Theodore, you convinced us. Go visit t@bleCam today!



Sign Of The Times: E-Couples
08.14.00 <NEEDHAM, MASSACHUSETTS> -- While love may be eternal, the dressings and accoutrements of love continually change. Instead of singing "Buffalo Girl Won't You Come Out Tonight" to your girl while she hides naked behind a bush, these days you e-mail the lyrics, attach the mp3 file, and watch your lover swoon over web cam. We thought we'd try to capture a sample of love's blossom the new century. After tapping into the Internet and intercepting non-encrypted e-mails, we happily discovered our e-couple below. Annie and Ted are obviously love, and their courtship has a distinctively Y2K flavor. Dim the lights, put on some romantic mp3 tracks, and enjoy...
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How To Get Blamed
07.13.00 <LAWRENCE, KANSAS> -- Many readers have been asking how they can get their names and pictures on the Today's Blame page. Here's how to get on the fun.
1.   To make yourself eligible for blaming, you need your own hype7.com personal profile. Use the "create" link under the PROFILE heading on the main page to build this hype7.com identity.
2.   Fill all the fields and click on the submission arrow at the bottom of the form. You profile is created and you are now the running to get blamed.
3.   If you would like to add or change the image affiliated with your profile, click the "change face" button beneath the photo on your profile data page. Instructions detail how to change your photo by either picking an image from our face library, uploading your own image (which we will manually edit to size and add to your profile) , or by having the face-generator dynamically create and image for you.



Eric Davis

07.11.00 <KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI> -- Eric Davis was raised by two honest and hardworking reindeer. His parents being reindeer weren't the sharpest knives the drawer. They saw Eric growing the cave, thought it was their child, and so they attempted to raise Eric as a reindeer. (Latter is was determined that Eric came to his parents when, as a seed, he'd been eaten by his father and subsequently "Deposited" back at the cave.) As a youngster, Eric wasn't allowed to play any reindeer games. No, Eric Davis did not have a bright red nose. (As an aside, it should be noted that the racist impressions left by holiday claymations are quite unfounded. Reindeer children run their games on a strict merit system. You perform, you play. You stink, you ride the bench. It doesn't matter if your daddy is Mayor Reindeer or Coach Reindeer; is no special treatment. If you have blue fur, live a small cave, and are missing a hoof but can jump really high then you are respected amongst your reindeer peers.)...
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05.20.00 <INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA> -- Full partial coverage of the 2000 Men's/God's/Donkey's/Corn/Etc NCAA Basketball Tournament. Coverage includes breakdowns of all first round matches, insightful player reporting, and coverage of the lone first round game that is still progress (as of May 20th, 2000). Also it's not too late to enter into THE GREAT HYPE7-ERYTHROMYCIN $1,000,000 GIVEAWAY. Follow links for details on how to enter and win. (So far, only 3 people have entered so chances are VERY good that you will win 1 of the 18 Grand Prizes.)...
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Taiwan Election Recount
Chen Shui-Bian OUT, Chiang Kai-Cat IN!
03.19.00 <TAIPEI, TAIWAN> -- By the time Saturday evening had arrived Taipei and Taiwan's presidential election had come to a close, it looked as if Chen Shui-bai and his Democratic Progressive Party had finally broken a Nationalist Party's stranglehold on the presidency dating back to 1949 when Chiang Kai-shek and his Nationalists first fled to the island....
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FFCs - Fist Fighting Conditions
01.31.00 <LAWRENCE, KANSAS> -- HYPE7.com often gets mail from readers seeking advice for their fist fighting conditions (FFCs). These fighting problems are varied and dire. Some lack important fight recognition skills. ("When I get hit the nose and the other dude is screaming baseless vitriolic threats at me... is THAT when the fight has started?") Others say they lack the charisma to perform simple goading. ("Excuse me sir, if you don't mind, might we go a few rounds? {long actionless pause} No? Ok.. I COMPLETELY understand.") And still others wrestle with fight disfunction spawned from bizarre childhoods. ("When I was about 18, our de clawed tabby beat me up something awful. Since then I just cant seem to pick fights with tabby cats. I try -- I go up with the complete intention of knocking one off the fence, or starting the car real quick so I can catch a sleeping tabby under the wheels, but next thing I know I'm holding the thing my hands talking baby talk to it. You GOTTA HELP ME!")...
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01.24.00 <OMAHA, NEBRASKA> -- Another insightful gem from Rex Stevens. This times it's Burt Reynolds exposed.
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Plain White Bucket Voted New Texas State Bird
01.17.00 <AUSTIN, TEXAS> -- Thanks to the Texas 75th Congress, next time you buy a souvenir T-shirt Wako, or a souvenir silver spoon Lubbock, expect to see the image of the Plain White Bucket adorning it. The Plain White Bucket, or the bucket as it is called for short, was voted as the new Texas state bird nearly three years ago when the 75th Congress rushed to an end. Last week Austin, "Sorters" (regular employees hired by Congress to figure out what exactly vas voted for) announced that the old state bird, the mockingbird, had been replaced by the 5-gallon bucket....
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Archived News...
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GREAT link for those old infocom cames (Zork, Starcross, etc.)
 
 
 

Maybe It was your fault? There's only one way to find out: check the blame page to see if you've been blamed.

 



Exerpts from
The Creature of Potter's Pond
[quicktime]
Creature Attacks Dog Walker


[quicktime]
Flashback: Vampire LARP